spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
