Don't you send me to vm
Need sex. Gaining weight.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Is it penis luge time yet?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
