What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
