i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
