i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
