HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
