Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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