his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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