i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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