hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
