This girl is more easily done than said...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
