I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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