Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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