I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Found the puke drawer
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
