didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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