i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
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