I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
