doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
