belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
