I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
