She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
