So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
