I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
