so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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