did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
