idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
