You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
