You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
