I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
