i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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