i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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