McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
