Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
