from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
