i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
