Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
