i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
