I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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