I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
