He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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