I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
