nut hugger
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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