So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize