I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize