Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
