D3 body, D1 cock
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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