I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
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