That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
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