I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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