So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
