At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
