Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
