LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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