This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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