Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
