WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize