So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
