I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
