i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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