you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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