FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
where are you?
Hypothermia
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bondingš
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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