Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
