i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
