He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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