Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I wish there were birth control emojis
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
