Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
