He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
