$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
