what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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