i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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